Why Engineers Lie About Deadlines (And How to Stop)
The psychology behind optimistic estimates, and a call for radical honesty for project success.
“How is <project> progressing?”
Every engineer has at some point heard this question from their project manager, client, or other stakeholder. And I’m no exception.
For some time, it was actually me who was asking this question when I stepped into the role of a project manager. That’s when I realized something insightful; something that reshaped my answers to this question ever since.
Why do we lie?
“Yeah, this should be done by the end of today”, my coworker answered as I rocked up to his desk at 2pm and ambushed him with the question. I still remember this moment so vividly, because it triggered so many insightful thoughts.
Firstly, I immediately knew this was not possible. We finished work by 4pm, and there was no way that something that was in progress would get code reviewed and merged by then, especially given that we had another meeting in between.
Secondly, as much as I knew this was not possible, I saw myself in the answer. When I was on the receiving end of the question, I would answer exactly the same - with an overly optimistic estimate that had little chances of becoming true.
But why? If I know it won’t happen, why am I telling it? Well, this is where psychology of relationships comes in.
The bottom line is that most human beings are afraid of disappointing other human beings. At the same time, we enjoy being liked. When the answer to the question is “it will be done today”, this brings up a smile on the project manager’s face, and they may even tell you how much they appreciate you. When the answer is “uh, probably next week”, the project manager becomes grumpy. They may even call an emergency meeting.
Another factor is instant gratification. If the project manager hears what they want to hear, they will be happy. They will tell this to the client, and they will be happy too. The storm will only come some time in the future, and we’ll cross that bridge when we come to it, just like the student that decides to postpone studying for an exam to tomorrow. This is especially true when it’s Friday, and there is a whole, seemingly endless weekend between the lie and it’s consequences.
Sometimes we forget that despite our sophisticated culture, we are still just apes on a rock floating in space, dressed in suits. We have the need to belong, to please and to comply - these instincts helped us survive in the prehistoric times, which were much less forgiving than the modern world.
The impact of our lies
So it’s these faults that cause us to lie when we really should tell the truth to our project manager. And this can have a huge impact. Because what we tell to the project manager will get told to the client, and the client will tell that to their customers. Suddenly, what we said has propagated 3 layers down, and people are expecting the results.
Imagine this: you promise that the feature will be done by end of the week. Project manager tells this to the client. The client makes an announcement on social media that the feature is coming on Friday.
Now it’s Friday afternoon, and it’s clear that the feature will not be delivered in time. An emergency meeting will be called, and usually the impatient client is blamed, or perhaps the incompetent project manager. But it all started with that small lie by the engineer.
Everyone is scrambling, and most likely we’ll need to postpone the launch or pull an all nighter. And at the end of all this, the engineer is the hero because they stayed up all night to launch the feature. But it was their fault in the first place for overpromising!
How to stop lying
To stop lying, we have to admit that something will take longer than may be anticipated by our project manager or the client. But this takes a lot of mental effort, and a swallowing of the ego - easier said than done.
My technique is to think about it as something that benefits everyone, even if it doesn’t seem so when I say it. If I say that it will only be done by end of Monday next week, or maybe even later, I will not be the most popular person in the room at that moment. However, by telling the truth, I do thfourree positive things:
I prevent the project manager from promising an unfeasible deadline.
I give my manager a chance to find solutions to deliver faster - dedicate more people to the effort, or reduce the scope.
I spare my team from having to pull an all-nighter to get the job done.
I spare myself from lack of sleep and stress.
If I lie, none of these happen. The project manager will assume everything is going okay, and the crash will only happen on the last day, and by then it’s too late to find solutions.
What’s more, in 9/10 situations I’ve found that people react much less negatively to my pessimistic estimate than I anticipated. Sometimes we build up these nightmare scenarios in our heads where we think we’ll get fired because we give a pessimistic estimate. Most of the times, it’s the opposite - people appreciate the honesty, or don’t even see the estimate to be pessimistic.
Your challenge - radical honesty
For the next week, be radically honest about how long something will take. Try to resist that initial urge to please your project manager by giving them an optimistic estimate. Remember, you are doing them a big favor by being realistic (or pessimistic).
“Heart: should be done in 30 minutes”
“Brain: end of next week”